beautiful things

you dressed the trees and you saw their splendor

did you notice …

did you notice I was gone? if not, i’m crushed. crying on the inside. deep, gushing sobs.¬†

nah. just kidding. ūüôā

it’s been a crazy few weeks for my love and i. he was gone on work stuff for a week, leaving me to spend quiet evenings alone, getting to watch the sappy, romance-filled movies i secretly adore but he pretty much hates. on those evenings, i realized how much warmth he brings when he’s here.

he can be quiet. “just because i’m not saying anything doesn’t mean something’s wrong.” and sometimes he’s laughing, laughing that great, big, from-deep-down laugh that i fell in love with from the beginning. when he’s gone, i feel like something is literally missing from my life. i feel exposed almost.¬†

we never talk on the phone. it’s a mutual dislike we have. but everyday we would talk that week, even if just for a few minutes.

“i miss you. i wanna see you.”

does that mean we are codependent? i don’t think so. we’re perfectly capable of being away from each other, having activities we pursue independently. sometimes i long for a still afternoon, Pandora on in the background while i live out my dream life on Pinterest(just kidding about the dream life). and i know he itches for his days off where he can stare at the television mindlessly while he sits cross-legged on our paint stained Turkish rug, getting lost in whatever video game he has his hands on now.

but we come back to each other. it’s a pull, like gravity, that we have on each other. we feel safe together. we can criticize and encourage, sympathize and disagree, know and wonder together. but we both have to have our “leave me alone for a few minutes” time. when that’s over, however, i sure am ready to see him again.¬†

 

Image

 

Matthew 6:34″G…

Matthew 6:34
“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get¬†worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

i’m a worrier. a great, big, obnoxious worrier. it runs in my family, but i can’t use that as an excuse. sometimes it will be something small, but in my head i dwell on it and dwell on it, fretting, biting my nails until it becomes huge and nagging. it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. i become obsessed. the “what if?”s consume me and i withdraw. i panic. i worry about whether i’ll get everything i’m convinced i need to get done done, i worry about what i want to accomplish, i worry about what i want to be, i worry about what i’m not.¬†

i’m so thankful for jarrett. he sees right through me and tells me what exactly he’s seeing. ¬†

“the housework, the job, all that…it’s secondary. that’s not what your first priority is.”¬†

Matthew 6:30-33
“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers‚ÄĒmost of which are never even seen‚ÄĒdon’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t¬†worry¬†about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.”

just slap me in the face, why don’t ya? gosh, Jesus. getting a little personal there.¬†

 

r<3

my dearest husb…

my dearest husband and I took a much needed stay-cation this weekend, and I was quite sad to come home. we spent two nights in a darling historic hotel, The Stonefort Inn, built in 1909. our bed was a solid wood four poster and was insanely soft. original wood floors and staircases, exposed brick walls, transom windows, subway tiles, jaccuzzi tub, with a gourmet breakfast. 

Image

the white chocolate raspberry scones were to die for. trust me. 

 

we hit up the tennessee aquarium, the IMAX, rock city and ruby falls. 

Image

the fairyland cavern was pretty creepy actually. storybook characters that looked like they were made out of paper mache and fingerpainted with glow paint surrounded by damp rock…pretty freaky.¬†

we also tried out some great restaurants. I highly recommend the fried pickles from the Pickle Barrel, along with the pom tots and herder pie from The Honest Pint. 

 

it was nice to get away, nice to take a break. it was nice to not have to impress people and just be with the one you love. it was nice to sleep. it was very very nice. 

 

 

i lied. it was awesome. i love my husband. 

Image

¬†set a fire do…

Image

 

set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain and I can’t control … I want more of You, God! I want more of You, God!